Dear Diary,
This has been quite a difficult week. I have had to deal with a lot of change, and I find it quite overwhelming. I am in such a deep grief about losing my job. Losing my friends. And its strange, because no one really seems to care. I mean, can’t ANY of my friends or family members imagine what I’m going through? I mean, honestly.
I am just going crazy in my head.
Shawntae
I have been so depressed lately. I just feel so overwhelmed, and underwhelmed at the same time. Does that make sense? I think that I have started to lose faith in humanity, and the world. Without my writing, and my books; I would fall apart. I need more. I need more.
More Diary Soon,
Shawntae
Hello my LOVELY followers,
I just want you all to know that I am currently working on a NEW blog!! YAY US!! I will of course keep this one, I LOVE my lyrics blog, but my new blog will be dedicate to books, literature and all things of the written word! So stay tune for that!
Also, If any of you have any or know of any good literature/book blogs, PLEASE let me know! I will love to follow them!
Shawntae
Hi Diary,
My friends. Today’s post will not be depressing, and gloomy. I will not go on and on about how horrible my life is (although it is), and how much the world sucks. I have decided to be more optimistic today. So, instead I am going to talk about my favorite thing in the world; BOOKS! Now, I usually would talk to my best friend about this, but well, she went M.I.A. So, therefore, I am subjected in talking to my lovely followers. I am trying to see how many books I can read this year. My goal is at least 24… here is what I have read so far.
1. Miss Peregrines Home for Pecuilar Children by Ransom Riggs
2. The Great Gatsby (re-read) by F. Scott Fitzgerald
3. Perfect by Ellen Hopkins
4. Davita’s Harp by Chaim Potok
5. All My Friends are Superheroes by Andrew Kaufman
6. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
7. Cobain Unseen by Charles R. Cross
8. Hunger Games (re-read) by Suzanne Collins
Currently I am reading Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card. I expect to be finished with it by the end of the week. I love books. I love books. I love love love them. Anyways, I need some book suggestions. Let me know some of your favorites, please. :)
More Diary Soon,
Shawntae
Hi Diary
It’s so difficult waking up everyday, and wishing you didn’t. Perhaps, I sounds extremely depressing and pathetic, but I can’t help it. I haven’t smiled in a long time. And even when I do smile, it’s artificial. That’s how pathetic I am. That is how depressed I am. That is how nothing I am.
More Diary Soon,
Shawntae
Dear Diary,
It’s been a long time since I have written. And I am quite sorry. I am feeling really broken, and hurt, and lost. I need a friend. I mean, its strange feeling SO alone, all the freaking time. It’s weird to know that there are millions, and billions of people in this world, and I still feel like I am the only one. It actually pains me. It actually hurts me. God, I feel like loneliness will kill me. Loneliness WILL kill me. I just know it.
I wish I could have someone, you know? I mean, my friends are… well, I don’t know what they are. Is it strange that Josh who is nothing like me, and he is my best friend now. And Megan, who is so much like me, has disappeared. What does that mean?
Really though Diary, at the end of the day, I just don’t want to be so alone.
More Diary Soon,
Shawntae
Hi Diary,
I am excited today, because I went to the library and got a couple of GREAT books! Oh, its nice to read and be consumed in words. I have been reading digital books on my phone, but I was craving pages. Pages, oh Pages how have I missed you? There is something amazing to smell a page, isn’t there? Anyways, I am excited to be reading. Read, Read, Read.
More Diary Soon,
Shawntae
So I am so confused. Which sucks.
I was hired for a new job, but I don’t even want it. I don’t know if I should take it and have a steady income, or withdraw me accepting, and continue looking for another job (which is so much work, and no guarantee). I am just so confused.
More Diary Soon,
Shawntae
I am so overwhelmed. I am losing my best friends. What am I suppose to do without Ande and Josh. And with Megan and Sarah gone… I just feel like I am all by myself- because I AM all by myself. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, which is true. But sometimes, what doesn’t kill, breaks apart your soul, and throws you in the trash. But I guess that doesn’t sound as catchy.
More Diary Soon,
Shawntae
So, I technically do not have a facebook, because I have deactivated my account about a year ago. However, on occasion (maybe 4 or 5 times in the past year), I have logged on for about 20 mins to look at his facebook account. That isn’t bad, right? Facebook stalking is allowed, isnt it?
Nonetheless, after I look at his facebook, I quickly deactivate the account again. This is normal, right? Right. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
More Diary Soon,
Shawntae
I just don’t understand why everything has to stack up against me. Why does fate hate me so much, when I don’t do anything to harm it? I wish that God could see how really hurt I am, and stop all of the pain. I wish I could be free. I just want to be free.
Hello Diary,
It’s me again. Not much is new with me. I am just… chilling. I set up an appointment to see a counselor on January 3rd. I am suppose to be talking about my problems and life stuff. I just thought I should. Well, Josh thought I should. And perhaps he is right. I don’t know. I may cancel, but at least I made an appointment, right? Admitting having a problem is the first step- So I am told anyway. But we will see. Of course ill keep you posted. But I probably wont tell anyone outside of tumblr. I don’t want anyone to know.
More Diary Soon,
Shawntae
So I really should be making some new edits, but I just stumbled across a wonderful website that has all of the Dexter and True Blood episodes… So, Ill probably be busy for the next couple of hours- at least.
More Diary Soon,
Shawntae
Hi Diary,
So We have now started to tell customers that our store is closing. It’s hard for them to hear, but It’s harder for me to say. I have so many regular customers whom I love so much. I mean, saying goodbyes are hard, but saying multiple goodbyes, is that much harder. Not only will I probably not see most of my customers again, but my coworkers- my friends. It is so hard to say goodbye to them. I was just thinking about it last night, and how much I need them in my life. How am I suppose to say goodbye to the one good thing in my life? I just don’t think it’s possible. Perhaps I sound whiny, but I love them. I love them. I love them. And I know Ill never see them again.
More Diary Soon,
Shawntae
Dear Diary,
So it’s a brand new day for me. I have no more school for a while, which is quite LOVELY!! I am still holding on through the pain and the sorrow. And I wanted you all to know, I’ve changed a few things about the blog. So, I have decided to add literature, movie and TV quotes. YAY! And since school is out, Ill start doing 5 posts per day instead of 4! Lucky you all! :)
More Diary Soon,
Shawntae
